Dan Svizeny (Cough Cool + a shit ton of other bands)


When the whole idea to do this came to mind, Dan was the first person that I thought of. Besides the fact that every band he’s in fucking rules, I knew he was an avid Philly fan across the board (that made it real easy for me to pull off this first post). I was going to use this space to talk about what Cough Cool sounds like, but I’m sure I’ll just piss someone off trying to describe it and it probably wouldn’t make any sense. So, basically here are his predictions for Philadelphia’s four major teams:

PHILLIES

The Phillies are the new Yankees. Whatever about the 26 championships or all that other New York bullshit talk, Philadelphia spends mulah. Has it worked? Maybe. The core of the current Phillies roster is the product of really tight draft work. Scouting my friends, farm systems, weird minor league baseball in Trenton… that’s the kind of shit that really matters. The window to win is closing. Now more than ever is it “do or die”. These next 2-3 years are World Series or bust, and if it busts…it explodes and the city may never let them back in.
Do I like Papelbon? Not yet. Closers are super overvalued and I think Rueben may have reached for this dude.
Jimmy Rollins will probably be back. I think Jim-dog likes the attention of free agency… but he knows whatsup. He isn’t pulling a Werth.
Ryan Howard may be over. 35 HRs just isn’t cutting the mustard for me at this point in his career with what the homeboy is making.
2012 Prediction: World Series WIN 

EAGLES

At least for the time being. Philadelphia is no longer Green. The Phillies have taken over and the Eagles are pissed. What else would possess them to go after overhyped free agents? You know your boy Jeff doesn’t like to dish out any sort of coin. I think he’s a Patriots fan. The Eagles have obviously been a massive disappointment, we all know it. They hitched the cart to a seriously delicate and overpriced Mike Vick, and kind of have been fucking D. Jackson around all year. Mistakes galore.
My only solution. Go back to the kelly green.
2011/2012 Prediction: 6-10

FLYERS

Flyers hockey isn’t something you can just kinda chill with, you fuck it a lot then marry it. I have..and it sucks. Philadelphia will never see a cup, ever. Giroux/Read may be the only hope for a fanbase stuck in the 70’s to move towards a more “european” style of the game. Hockey is fast. Faster than it used to be. There are no more Donald Brashear’s, and unfortunately there are no more Broad Street Bullies.
Goaltending has been the problem for as long as I can remember. It looked like the flyers may have cleared up that problem by acquiring (and overpaying) for an A-, B+ kind of keeper. Not so fast… he’s kind of a head case. Whoops. Can’t wait for the playoffs.
2011/2012 Prediction: Eastern Conference Semi-finals.

SIXERS

Umm? Great young core…
2011/2012 Prediction: ?

Here’s a video for Cough Cool’s “Stolen” from the sold out Clausen cassette (2011, Not Not Fun). It’s got plenty of Flyers fights and Phillies clips in it.

You can follow Dan and keep up with all of his bands (Cough Cool, Scissoring,  Blackhawks, etc.) at coughcool.tumblr.com. And you can pre order the new Cough Cool LP Lately (it’s got an 80s era Phillies photo on it which is sick) coming out on Bathetic Records December 13th. Stream it here (until Tuesday), because it’s gold.
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